Fire Within

by Lucas M.

Who I Am

Woeful soul, never trying to lie, but walling off my secrets

Hiding what I know will break down the walls

Opting to retain—

Weather the storm.

And in the dry season,

Building dykes

Impulsive, inspired, innovated, masked as an anarchist

As easily seen as heard, my words are often misheard

Many bodies lay in my private cemetery, deep being a mask of my disguise

— Lucas M.

Bipolar Collection

-Throughout my stay, I struggled within my days, going through many a phase.

Bipolar

Between the highs and lows

In moments of brutal clarity

Perplexed by action and inaction

Obsessed with changing my ways

Lost again in my own mind

Another type of deep inner torture

Resigned to chase another extreme

Manic

My thoughts race far away

As an inferno sparks to life

Nothing and no one is spared or safe

Insanity ceases, if for only moments

Chaos and pain in my wake

Depressive

Demented darkness deep inside

Everything that weighs on the soul

Prying eyes shocked at the sight

Recessed behind the heaviest veil

Eventually thrust upon the world

Subdued and seated for the ride

Soon all will be over and done

Inevitably the veil will fall

Virtue and kindness will prevail

Everything built on love will be all that remains

Must & Can’t

My brain craves balance

Utilizing a pharmaceutical arsenal

Settling the highs, raising the lows

To reach a state of induced calm

Consciously, I know that it's ceased

As the smoke clears, it becomes simple

No shortcut to peace lasts past the buzz

True serenity comes with time, work, and healing

Love

Loyalty beyond comprehension and reason

Overtly sharing, understanding and caring

Voicing praise and giving thoughtful advice

Elevating those around and spreading joy endlessly

Drugs

Dangerously balancing on the edge

Removed from a life long lost

Urges to change at all costs

Gashes in a life story and ashes fall down

Substance to combat sorrow, trading thought of tomorrow for momentary peace

Loss of Normalcy

Dependent on

truth

and communication

Except when it

echoes

blank limbo

Lost

in

thoughts of past martyr

Inventing the

thoughts

of using maximum

Regard for

sanity

drops as the umbra

Initiate explorer

escaping

any quarrel

Under a

heavy

tarp, knowingly iconoclastic

Many have been here, few

return

, and there’s no trophy.

Dart

Despite government sanctions and back-and-forth,

Another one inhaled, another day failed.

Regulated for potency, not safety.

Today I don't quit, an all-too-common mantra.

— Lucas M.

Weed

While willy-always and forever will,

Heart to face changes your face.

Innocent plant can be poisonous,

Living didn’t consider a day off,

Even for a moment.

— Lucas M.

The GoToMan

He knows where to get ahead

He's never thought about the pits

He'll leave this lifestyle behind

Hell is where he's from, the Go-To Man

— Lucas M.

Chekhov’s Flamethrower

From my first rememberable breath I've had a spark.

Innocent to this, I've flashed a burn through life.

Recently I've had to boot up, not to be counted out.

Every enemy everywhere will taste the heat, I won't play sweet.

— Lucas M.